Have you ever had something terrible happen to you and wonder - why me? What did I do to deserve this? I recently asked myself that very question. I have always been faithful and tried to be a good Christian, why would God punish me like this? There are people that don't believe in God and they have healthy pregnancies and routine deliveries all of the time without suffering from postpartum psychosis and depression. Why me?
What I should really be asking myself is why not me?
I was talking to my mom a few weeks ago and I asked her, why did God give this to me? And she replied, why not you? There is a purpose behind this and you have to find that purpose. You are special and he chose you to go down this path. My mom really made me stop and think.
I know in my heart that God is not punishing me. I may not totally understand what His plans are, but I have to be willing to let Him use me to help others. If I help just one person, it will all be worth it. Not to mention that I have a beautiful and healthy baby boy to show for it, too. :)
I went through something terrible that not many people go through, and I loved the Lord through it. I didn't always like the Lord and I did get angry with Him many times, but I continued to love the Lord. Because of circumstances I didn’t create or ask for, He chose to use me. And if that doesn't humble me, I don't know what will.
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