Stay Well

I have a dear friend, Teresa, who lives with an anxiety disorder. Teresa and I share a private blog together called "Lifting the Fog." We use this blog as a "safe place" to talk about anxiety, depression, and motherhood. I want to share one of Teresa's posts (with her permission of course).

i go for days where i feel great. where i feel like all is clear. the sun is shining in my world. things click and gears move without agitation. then it hits. something comes from no where and slams me down. it feels like i am clouded--my emotions become clouded, my eyes do not see clearly, my thoughts are foggy. i do not feel right. i do not feel whole.

i don't know what brings on this fog but i do know that there are several things that help me lift the fog. running helps. laughter from my small children helps. hugs from my loving husband helps. writing helps. in fact, writing helps a lot. the hope i have from posting in this spot is to help myself lift the fog from my life and see more clearly all the time.

emotions are often frowned upon when they are extreme. most people do not talk about anxiety, depression and other mental disorders. society as a whole often looks at them as taboo. medication to treat these is viewed as scary. it irritates me to great end to know that because i have a mental disorder that others view me as crazy or at least different.

okay enough rambling for today. the point i am trying to get at, or at least i think i am trying to get at is, i want to lift the fog. i want to lift my fog but i also want to lift the fog that others have when it comes to mental disorders. i want to educate others so they can clearly see that there is no need for taboo.

I totally understand what Teresa means when she says that there are days when everything seems ok and then all of a sudden - BAM - out of nowhere your world is rocked to the core. That is what happened about 4 weeks ago with my last relapse. The week before I was just fine and then out of nowhere I became depressed again. It was due to the decrease in my medication. Trying to come off the medication, coupled with major life changes (my husband getting a new job), and everyday stress led to my relapse. Now that I am back to taking my medicine at the right dosage, I feel like myself again.

No one who suffers from a mental illness wants to be sick. Everyone who lives with a mental illness is striving for the same thing...to be well. That is what my psychiatrist always says when I leave her office..."stay well." Don't worry doc, I plan to.