Water Works

Man - have they been nonstop for me the past two days. I am just a mess!

Several weeks ago I had my annual OBGYN appointment. I was dreading it because I have not been in the office since I lost our baby. I picked a late appointment time so I could avoid the mommies-to-be and the new mommies. I just wasn't up for it. I was SO relieved when I arrived and I was the only person in the waiting room. ROCK ON! I made it through the entire appointment without tears, which was a pretty big deal. As my nurse practitioner was walking me to the front desk, my eyes started to fill with tears. We were setting up bloodwork appointments and they were handing me paperwork. It was only 10 months ago when they were ordering urgent tests for me to check on the status of my pregnancy. I was glad when I was able to leave the appointment, I went to my ZUMBA class that evening, and I felt much better.

Yesterday, we had a meeting with my obstetrician, Dr. F, where we went over the findings of my bloodwork. The day before, I expressed to my husband that I really wish he would go along with me. I explained how I was feeling, he listened, and he didn't really comment. I was so surprised when he called a few hours before my appointment to say that he was going to drive as fast as he could home and that he would meet me at the doctor's office!

On our way to the waiting room, we ran into an old friend of Jason's. Of course she is 38 weeks pregnant. She is not married, wasn't trying to get pregnant, no longer talks to the father, etc etc etc. It was NOT what I needed before entering the waiting room. Again, I made the appointment for as late as they could make it in the hopes of waiting in an empty waiting room. My plan didn't work this time. I checked in, sat down with Jason, and in walks a very pregnant woman and the daddy. They sat down right next to Jason. After that, the tears started and I couldn't stop them. A few seconds later, a very pregnant woman walked into the waiting room after being seen with her husband, all smiles, holding an ultrasound picture. I didn't think I was going to be able to endure much more. Luckily, our name was called.

My poor husband. He felt terrible for me. I was still crying as we waited for the doctor. Luckily, Jason distracted me by talking about something else and asking me questions. I was able to compose myself and get through our meeting with the doctor without crying. Thank God Jason came with me!

We did receive good news...I had a very strong reading from our ovulation test and I do indeed ovulate! That is great news and our doctor encouraged us and gave us hope. We love Dr. F. He wants us to continue to try really hard throughout the holidays. Apparently, the holidays produce lots of pregnancies typically.

After the meeting was over, we went and ordered takeout, watched Biggest Loser, and processed what we learned from the doctor. Jason pointed out to me that when we do get pregnant, we need to remember that not everyone in the OBGYN's waiting room is there for good news. I never would have thought about that if God had not decided that this was the road we were going to have to travel.

I really wish they had separate waiting rooms for the parents who have experienced loss. I also look forward to the day when I will no longer HATE going to Dr. F's office.


Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for
this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NASB)